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Mar. 18th, 2008 | 07:39 am

Once again,

I've woken up drunk and naked and alone.  It seems to be becoming a pattern, those three things.  Somehow it's not really quite as sad as it seems.  The drunk part means at least I can reign in the hangover (that's part of my problem with drinking- I rarely get a hangover, which is why I keep drinking).  The naked part just feels good and free and the alone part means that I have the balls to be by myself.  It's really not bad, actually.

I mean, I like being naked and I like being drunk.  So far as being alone, it just means I haven't brought anyone sketchy back.  So all in all, it's not a half bad situation for me.  I mean, I wish I was in better shape, so far as the naked part, but I'm not doing half bad I suppose.  I still came in under 120 lbs at the doctor's the other day (117). 

When I've been sleeping at night I stretch out all over the whole bed- I lay on my stomach and reach to all corners of the bed with my limbs.  I still haven't been exactly sleeping well all the time, but I've been getting used to not always curling up in a tiny ball.  It's just different.

I think I may have actually managed to keep my white shirt white last night.

Drunk and naked and alone. 

Of the three elements, I really like being drunk and naked.  When I'm alone I can play my music as loud as I want as early as I want.  So far as being alone, I can deal.

The past two days have been discombobulated beyond belief.  I have been having difficulty dealing with the complete and utter lack of cohesiveness.   But at least the drunk and naked and alone are all familiar.  I know to get up, drink glasses and glasses of water, and whatnot. 

I have a crazy idea for today and it involves not going to class.  Possibly might also involve not wasting the mixed vodka I have on my desk here.



I want to hold on to these last days in Calvert.  Last days of poetry.  I belong here whether I like it or not. 

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