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Exhausted

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Mar. 20th, 2008 | 08:13 am

Not liking this wind at all.  It woke me up last night after only an hour or so of sleep and was gusting in the window so hard I actually thought the screen might be punctured.  Closed the window facing the river and even then the air shot through the cracks, as it is doing now.  It's almost rather frightening, can't escape the noise and feel of it.  Don't want it!  I don't think I'll be getting away from it though.  Will probably skip running. 

More vivid dreams last night.  Between those dreams and the wind I feel almost more tired than when I went to bed last night.   These dreams, when in continuum as they have been, almost make me feel like I have some double life.  By day I am some ordinary functioning citizen of a capitalist western society and by night I am some sort of cosmonaut navigating untold reaches of the mind.  I believe many of those corners of the mind are hidden for a reason, and while I recognize that I am not experiencing anything in any accessible way, it is still too close for me. 

They're not nightmares, exactly.  Just too real, too incomprehensible, too inaccessible, too draining.  I'm not learning much from them either because in the end I don't remember much by the time I surface from the depths of sleep.

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